I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
