So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
