My liver just broke up with me...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
