Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
