More tranny stories later!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize