I seem to have left my pride at pride
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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