i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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