i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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