me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
