I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
