it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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