Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
