You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
