I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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