real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
