You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
