OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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