i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
