when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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