He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
