He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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