Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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