I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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