I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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