Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
