Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
