I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
