Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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