I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
