Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
