He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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