you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
