bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize