Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
