just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
