And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am available for nakedness
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
