I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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