I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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