I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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