In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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