my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
