I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
