Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
