im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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