I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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