i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found puke in my bra..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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