Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
