Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
sex in a hospital.. check
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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