someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
