Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
