all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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