I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The struggles of a small town man whore
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
