Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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