sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
