What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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