then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
