I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You can't special order awesome
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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