I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize