he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
