Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
