Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
is it fun? or sober?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
