the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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