I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
