I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
